Tuesday, February 23, 2010

About identity and grace

(De Nederlandse versie komt op mijn Nederlandse blog te staan)

Last week I wrote about some things I learned in the process of making the YWAM magazine. Another thing I got aware of is how me and my work relate to God. I wanted to wait with blogging about it, because I wanted to think about it a bit.

Somehow pride is a big trap for artist and creative people. And for people with special talents and responsabilities. I know make very nice drawings, and people are often amazed by my work. I am often not all the way satisfied with all my drawings, there is always something I would have wanted to change. I am a perfectionist.

Identity in Jesus: I remember a few times I walked out of my office a in those weeks, with a satisfied feeling. I have been so happy that I don´t have to depend on how good or bad I have done my work. I know that I am being loved and valued by God anyway, that is how God is and I can be certain about that.

With the creative processes of designing and editing I put a lot of my thoughts and ideas in the work. This can be very exhausting, and I have been tired after some days, but I have felt at peace with myself and before God. Specially in times of busyness and pressure you see who God is. And it becomes a joy to see God work through me.

I have been satisfied that because of my look at things, we got good and beautifull things, and that I found good ways to present the articles in the magazine. But the fullfilment is so much bigger, when I think of how much I am valued by God.
And it did happen that I wanted the attention from other people, and their recognition for what I was doing. I am not at all saying that I perfect.

Spiritual work: It seems to me that I have some more energy than others, it is something that I easily can get proud about. Still, it has happened that I have been wanting to give up while others still wanted to work on.

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 3:14. Again, I am finding rest in knowing that it is God who strengthens and equips me to do my work. This work (and any work) is spiritual, I want to do it to show Gods greatness. In my own strength that would not be possible.

I believe God has called me to do this work and given me his spirit to do that work. If I would try to do Gods work in my own strength, I would get tired very fast. Only when I stay obedient to God and be like Jesus, in my heart, my words, my thought and what I do, will I be able to get my job done well. It is such a relief to know God is faithfull to work with me and through me.

I remember that worries and concerns have made me tired, and I remember that resting and trusting in God have given me energy and I could be active and could be doing lots of things. I don´t want to point to the great stuff I got to do here and there, but how great Gods grace is, for me. And for you.

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